Top 10 SLP Ailments
After reading this post about teacher ailments, I decided to speechify my own list! Although many of the teacher ones definitely apply to SLPs! This is simply for fun!
1. Clipart-itis: You may be afflicted with this if you have more clipart than you know what to do with! Other symptoms include purchasing clipart because you NEED the glitter and obviously, that new font.
2. Progress-Report-adema: This occurs four times a year when your 60+ progress reports are due and you find yourself knee deep in your data sheets, trying to figure out what you scribbled in the data box three weeks ago. Don’t worry, this will pass.
3. DDK-IPA-ASD-CELF: You may be afflicted with this if you find yourself speaking only in acronyms. It’s ok until people start looking at you like you just grew another head.
4. Nolaminatingpouchesorvelcroleft Syndrome: I recently had a variation of this one, as I ran out of binder rings, laminating pouches, and sheet protectors all at time same time. But then I bought 400 laminating pouches, 100 binder rings, and 100 sheet protectors and all was well with the world. 🙂
5. DollarStore-osis: This also applies to the dollar spot at Target or any other place where things are a dollar or less. SLPs are like heat-seeking missiles and you can bet they will knock you over to get to items they can use in their therapy rooms…ok maybe not really, but we can find a good deal.
6. MaterialHoarder-losis: Show me an SLP and I’ll show you someone who rarely throws anything away on the off chance that he/she might be able to use it somehow in therapy. I’m talking egg cartons, empty containers, packing materials, you name it.
7. Pinterest-itis: You may suffer from this if you are constantly pinning, repining, moving pin, or thinking “I KNOW I pinned an activity for this, I KNOW it!”
8. TherapyVoice Syndrome: You find yourself speaking in your “therapy voice” when therapy is over. Which is fine until you tell your husband “that’s not it, let’s try it again” when he forgets to empty the dishwasher.
9. EatSleepBreatheSpeech-fluenza: This likely happens because you’re planning, thinking about planning, testing, writing reports, doing therapy, checking the speech related Facebook groups you’re in, or doing any of the other various things that our job entails. Basically, it can be hard to turn your brain off!
10. ScheduleChange-oma: Ahhhh, this can be the bane of your existence as an SLP. It can take multiple forms: a) trying to fit all your students into slots while not pulling from lunch/recess/specials, b) having to change your schedule for the 294873rd time to add kids or accommodate a school-wide change, c) changing your schedule to accommodate any of the various events that happen in a school.
So there you have it! My version of the Top 10 SLP Ailments? Do you suffer from any of the above? I’d love to hear – comments and sharing are welcome! 🙂
I have a bad case of the hoarder of therapy materials disease, if you find a cure or someone to come help me organize it better please share!
haha – I have it too!
Great post! I have….itinerantcaritis!!! My car is an SLP office and storage room on wheels! When I married my hubby almost 30 years ago…I warned him: marry me and marry a carload of stuff! I think I could almost live in my car for a week! lol
Thanks! Ohhh yeah – I can imagine. When I was traveling between schools, my car became something like that!
Oh dear, I see that I suffer from multiple infections. Do they have medication for that?? 🙂
Hahaha – unfortunately I haven’t found any yet!
Yes. It’s called wine.
Yes! It’s called summer vacation!!
Haha! True!
Oh, I think you hit them right on the head. I may not have as many students as most of you, but it’s always hard. One ailment you left out is “Not being told until the last minute-itis” when you need to be at an IEP meeting –NOW.
That’s a good one Ann!
I once worked with a therapist who purchased every program, book and test she ever heard of. We use to joke (to her) that she needed a 12 step program to stop. She was older and a few years away from retiring. Her office was beginning to look like something from hoarders. When she left I found an original ITPA in the old blue plastic box. Thank goodness TPT wasn’t around yet. Anyone have a name for that. TPTitis is the new disease…a little cheaper until you add in the printing costs. TPT is rather like the penny slots at a casino. Psychologically you think you’re not spending that much but now you’re printing out the materials so it costs about the same in the long run.
Yes – I did leave off something about TPT (other than the clipart addiction). TPT is a lot like the penny slots!
It seems I have every symptom! So highly contagious. 🙂
This is great! Nicely done!
I must have the SLP flu! I’m only free of #3! Oh no!
SO VERY TRUE!!! I’ve broken the egg-carton and yogurt container habit. Mostly because I have an old hallway as an office in my current school. But everything else, plus the TpT addiction, is completely true!! “STOP using your school voice” is a phrase my husband uses…. Whoops!! Weekends, Hard Cider, and Breaks of All Kinds are the temporary remedy. There is no cure, since it’s the BEST profession!!!
Agreed that it’s the best profession!
#s 2 and 10. Happening at the same time lol! In my case #2 is componded by IEPitis between 2nd and 3rd marking periods I have written 20+ IEPS
Oye!! 20+ is too many!
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Love this!!! It’s so true! I work in a small school system, so I justify my MaterialHoarder-losis as necessary to serve everyone on my caseload, preschool to HS Seniors! Thanks for taking the time to apply the concept to SLPs!